Sidney and Kelly's story for Organ Donation Week
Organ Donation Week gives us a chance to hear from some amazing people – here’s Sidney and Kelly’s story, father and daughter from Buckinghamshire. Starting with Kelly’s perspective.
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“I’m stubborn, my whole family would agree on that. And I’m also the youngest sibling, so I’ve always been someone who watches what’s going on around me, as that’s how I learnt growing up. That meant when I knew I could help dad, I was always going to step in, and no one was going to talk me out of it.
“My dad Sidney is many things, a great dad, a brilliant granddad, a vintage Jaguar enthusiast, a musician, and very much an extrovert. Everything about his life changed after a routine workplace health check.
“Even though he felt fine, Dad was referred to hospital, and after months of controlling things with medication, was diagnosed with kidney failure. The weeks, months, and years that followed were spent either in hospital, driving to and from hospital, on dialysis at home, going through a kidney transplant which would fail after less than a year, and finally going back on dialysis again. This time though it was in hospital, for four hours a day, every other day, for years. To say it was exhausting would be an understatement – it was all-consuming. Throughout all of this he was supported by his wonderful partner Joyce.
“In the run up to dad’s first transplant, I’d been pregnant and wasn’t able to see if I was a match for him. Second time around though, I’d made my mind up, if I was a match, I was going to act as a live donor for my Dad. To help him get well again of course, but to also break that isolation he was having to live in – to get our family back, for my children to be able to spend time with their granddad, to be able to go out for lunch as a family – all the normal things we hadn’t been able to do for years.
“So for me, after doing my research, going for regular appointments and checks to make sure I was well to do it and a match, there was no question in my mind.”
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“My life has changed so much, since my second transplant. I’m still careful, and I’ll always have to be. But I’m back with my mates at the Jaguar club, I’m back with my band Kurtis, on the drums, and I can spend time with my whole family again. Life is really good. Kelly is just the same as always, strong, positive, and since the donation has had another baby. As you’d expect, our bond is closer than ever – including a fair few in-jokes, and going out for dinner each year for our transplant-versary.
We could not have gone through this without the amazing support of all of our family and friends, and although we tell them often, I hope they know how much we truly mean it. My partner Joyce, has been so strong, day in day out. For example learning to change my dressings, managing my medication - with the emotional support too - she has been my absolute rock. The way she took things on, I have so much admiration for her - and I honestly don’t think I’d still be here if it wasn’t for her.
“I still come back to the Royal Berks for check-ups, and it’s all going well at the moment, parking in the same spot I did all the times I came in for dialysis. My visits always have a sad element to them though, as it reminds me of all the mates I made during dialysis. Some are still waiting to find a match, some are now too frail to be able to have one, and others – including my friend Brian - died before a match was ever found for them.
"Organ donation is rare, and being a live organ donor even more unusual - and I know how lucky I am, and what a gift it is. All I'd say is, talk about it, discuss it, so if your family or loved ones do end up in a situation where they have to make a decision, they'll know your wishes and be able to honour them."